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Saturday, 17 September 2011 12:50 am It was not at all as if it had happened overnight after Lisa's death. If anything, he had been rather dense about the subject. It had likely not helped that he almost felt as if he should not exist. He had been dead. He had been dead and then he had very suddenly been extremely alive. Jack had brought him back. How or why, he had no idea. But the feeling of just being... wrong, that had lingered for weeks afterwards.
Ianto remembered being furious all the way to the countryside where people were going missing. He had plotted the route specifically to irritate Owen with the most exposure to the outdoors. But he had hardly seen the views as he drove. Every time he started to ask Jack what had happened, something came up, or he lost the nerve to ask, or Jack had simply disappeared.
Not that it would really have mattered, had he not made it. Once you were part of Torchwood, Torchwood owned you, alive or dead. Not just you; all of your belongings, your entire life, as well.
But that nagging idea that he really shouldn't exist plagued his mind for weeks. He might have, possibly, been a tiny bit more abrasive than was actually necessary.
The look Jack had given him after the comment about snogging Lisa had not exactly implied that he was pleased. No matter. Ianto was not pleased either. Feeling dead and not dead was not a pleasing thing.
Ianto remembered being furious all the way to the countryside where people were going missing. He had plotted the route specifically to irritate Owen with the most exposure to the outdoors. But he had hardly seen the views as he drove. Every time he started to ask Jack what had happened, something came up, or he lost the nerve to ask, or Jack had simply disappeared.
Not that it would really have mattered, had he not made it. Once you were part of Torchwood, Torchwood owned you, alive or dead. Not just you; all of your belongings, your entire life, as well.
But that nagging idea that he really shouldn't exist plagued his mind for weeks. He might have, possibly, been a tiny bit more abrasive than was actually necessary.
The look Jack had given him after the comment about snogging Lisa had not exactly implied that he was pleased. No matter. Ianto was not pleased either. Feeling dead and not dead was not a pleasing thing.
